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Monday, October 3, 2011

In Adversity Do We Find Ourselves and See Others For Who They Are

Only a year and a half since my mum's passing, my family and I have faced yet another loss.  Our bapa (dad/stepdad) has passed and we are still shocked with his demise.

My mum always said that a father isn't necessarily the person who helped conceive you.  He is the one who loves you unconditionally as his own without question.  He is the one who would go that extra mile for you without hesitation nor complaint.  He is the one who cares for you and guides you as best he can.

March 4, 2011
With his surprise birthday cake

We had just celebrated our grandmother's birthday earlier that day at an aunt's house, went back to send back the maid and off again to 1Borneo for the HomeDec expo.  We had been planning on renovating the home bathrooms and were all set to buy the tiles and other fixtures.  In fact, the works were supposed to begin 2 days later.  When we got home that night, he collapsed within minutes of entering the house.  He passed less than 2 hours later.  Almost all of us did not get a wink of sleep that night until after his burial the following morning.

It felt so surreal.  Like it was some sort of twisted nightmare.  He'd never told us kids about his health.  Probably because he didn't want us to worry and partly because he didn't think it was as serious as it was. He would from time to time say his back is painful but brushed it aside as muscle strain.

Our initial thought was that it was a heart attack but my brother pointed out that in the movies, when someone gets a heart attack, they would fall to side, hand on their chest somewhat gasping and not fall unconscious immediately.  After talking to a couple of doctors we were close with, we came to the conclusion that he may have had a stroke instead.

He was a man of few words, many smiles and a big, big heart.  Despite the busy-ness of his work, we always had time chilling and talking in front of the TV watching our favourite shows like NCIS, CSI and Criminal Minds at night.   He'd always make a point to have a few family trips to KL together during the school holidays and sometimes even send us on trips out of the country although he couldn't join us.  Every Saturday was family day.  We'd go out for lunch/high tea, shopping and/or movies.

Those who knew him would say he was always the fun guy to hang with.  He'd never complain and never try to pick a fight or argue with you.  To me, he was a superdad.  Every problem had a solution and he worked it out.  We learnt a lot from him and felt bad whenever we messed up even though he wasn't furious with us.  I don't know how he managed his time between family, work, friends and leisure but he did.

I miss our TV nights, Saturday family time, talks and more.  No words can describe how much he meant to me, my siblings and the rest of the family.  I am thankful however, for all the support from family and friends that I've received and would like to express my utmost appreciation to everyone.  I'm sure my family feels the same way too.  Thank you.

Thank you Allah for not having him in pain for long.  Al-Fatihah.