Beauty Moments: Make Up, Nails, Hair, Skincare, Fashion
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Monday, May 24, 2010

No More Boredom... Please?

Was so excited to meet up with an old classmate last Thursday.  She was in town for a week on work vacation.  Another classmate of ours who works in 1Borneo set up the whole thing which was awesome.  It was nice to sit and chat over dinner.  Really nice catching up.  I was getting my glasses upgraded (new prescriptions) so it worked out pretty well.

Last Friday only myself, one of my brothers and the maid were left home (til Sunday afternoon).  I initially thought that it would be great to finally get some peace and quiet around the house and get some overdue things done once and for all.

Wow.  Was I wrong.  Started out Friday night with a trip to 1Borneo to accompany my brother.  Well there wasn't much of the night left when we roamed there (8pm).  Anyways, headed home and I spent the entire night catching up on Glee episodes.  LOL!!  Talk about being "productive".

Side Note: I do love Rachel and Jesse together even though Jesse was there to kinda seduce Rachel under her mum's instructions.  He is kinda falling for her and OMG his voice is much better than Finn's and he knows what he wants where as Finn is like the grass in the wind if you catch my drift.

Last Saturday by far was the MOST unproductive day in my entire life.  And I was bored to looney-ville.  I thought about going out but I had nowhere to go or at least no where I wanted to go.  Anyways, was waiting for my BFF to drop by after work that afternoon.  I was practically restless.  Watched Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2 and Clueless on HBO HD and sometime after that I fell asleep and woke up to Giuliana & Bill on E! (I think).

That night was apparently the final concert for Akademi Fantasia 8 and I basically missed the entire season altogether.  LOL!!  My mum and I used to follow the show religiously in the past but the appeal has pretty much simmered down and I've personally lost interest.  Good thing the maid brought it to my attention that the final concert was gonna be on.  I'm impressed with Adira's performance of her song "Ku Ada Kamu" not because she was a Sabahan but because when she sang that song, it gave me a tingly feeling (you know the kind when someone sings a song really well with enough passion and soul). Check out below for the music video for her song and see for yourself.

Adira AF8 - Ku Ada Kamu
Courtesy of perekacerita's YouTube channel

I was tweeting about the concert the entire night and commenting on each performance giving my honest unbiased opinion.  I knew Adira would not be crowned the winner but what's important was she gave the best performance that night that it didn't even matter if she came in 1st or 2nd.  Anyways, with Shahir's good looks, and a gazillion female voters, it was clearly obvious who would win the votes.  I do think that Maulana did a better job than Shahir though.  Anyways, you can read my comments from that night on my Twitter.

So yea.  That was my Saturday night.  Haha.  Beyond a doubt boring and I was extremely restless to get out of the house (but didn't).  I didn't feel like doing anything else except go out too else I would've been able to do some clearing up or something at home.  Geez.  I hope I won't be facing that kinda day again ever.

Sunday (today), I got up earlier and got ready to go out.  Haha.  I'm so weird.  Since we were planning to watch Robin Hood at night, I went off to Centre Point to get us tickets.  It's always best to get tickets for the night earlier in the day.  More seat choices.  Anyways, I decided to wear a simple short knit dress (camisole underneath to cover up some cleavage. LOL!) and a matching waisted belt and paired that with a simple faux gold charm bracelet, my dual tone diamante dial Fossil watch and a pair of nude/black peep toe heels (my fave!).  I like to not just dress up but play around with make up on Sundays (or on holidays in general) since I don't get a lot of opportunities for that when I'm at work.  It just feels weird to be all dolled up at work somehow.  Maybe it's cos I work in an engineering/telecommunication based industry?  Makes me kinda wished I worked for a fashion or beauty magazine.  *sigh*  Or maybe I should start one?  Now there's a thought.  So nothing fancy, I had on BB cream as my foundation, did my brows, lined my upper lashline with a bit of a wing, mascara, coral blush, raspberry lipsticks and warmed my face with a bronzer.  Sounds like a lot but it's a simple look really.

Anyways, oddly enough I have no idea why there was this girl walking pass me and she kept staring at me (either it was my waisted belt or my non-flat stomach).  Then I also noticed a few other heads turning my way which I find to be rather uncomfortable.  I wasn't even decked to the nines or anything like that.  Heck, I even kept my hair straight (just used a volumizing mousse to the roots for a bit of lift).  After getting the tickets and Yoyo, I headed home.  Since I still had time before the airport pick up, I rushed to film a long planned collective haul and product review for my beauty blog.  Was planning to use my Canon camera to film but the video function didn't have auto focus which was a bummer.  It's great for vlogging though.  So I had to use the JVC camcorder which works great and had a flip screen so I could see myself too.  I love using the JVC.  Problem is it records into .mod files which isn't compatible with most video editing softwares (like Movie Maker, iMovie, Adobe Premier, etc).  It's supposed to work with Cyberlink's Power Director but I don't really like using that particular software.  After some trial and error in converting the files perfectly with FormatFactory, I managed to get it in .avi which has better compatibility.  Gonna be editing the footage soon.

So for Robin Hood, I was surprised that I actually liked it really.  I'm not a big fan of Russell Crowe or his works.  And wasn't too excited with him being cast as Robin.  Fortunately, he did an amazing job as Robin and the movie was a great introduction to how Robin Hood came to be.  Somehow every time I think about Robin Hood, I am reminded of the comedy version of it, "Men In Tights".  If you've never seen it, I'd seriously suggest that you do.  Hilarious.

Oh and yes, my office laptop is finally being switched to a new (actually 2nd hand) one.  Bye bye Dell, hello Lenovo.  The Lenovo was distributed in the company only a few months back so I have absolutely no idea how it became so disgusting.  Or maybe that's just me.  I cleaned the monitor, keyboard, chassis (including all the nooks and crannys) and disinfected it with some alcohol that my supervisor says smells like his lecturer's perfume.  No the alcohol didn't harm the laptop.  Now just to transfer my files and update my Outlook with my Archive folders.

Hopefully tomorrow I get to carry all my stuff from the office in the city to the other office that I'm moving to.  I love how I feel my colleagues there are like family.  Makes going to work less stressful and me more productive.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Another Weekend?

I've just realized that I've been doing a lot of weekend summary posts of late.  Probably cos I've been super busy on weekdays with work and other mundane home stuff that there's really nothing much to blog about.

Anyways, yesterday was my mum's 100 days day-versary kenduri and we had a little get together.  Kids running around the house and the kitchen busy since the night before.  Haha.  Honestly, I'm not a kitchen person so instead, I busied myself with clearing up the area as much I could considering most of the junk was my stuff.  Haha.  And I totally slept in last night which was pretty weird considering I hadn't slept in (til 2pm!) in awhile.  Don't want to make that a habit.

Well, I'm still adjusting myself to the corporate world and having my every move and work being scrutinized.  I find it suffocating and really disturbing really.  Personally, I just tend to not perform at my best and my brain shuts down to work when I get put under a microscope.  Imagine how germs feel.  I admit with all the workload and constant "urgent" things to tend to I've lost a lot of my efficiency making my performance less to be desired for which really stresses me out because I'm a demi-perfectionist and something like this is just unacceptable.  I've been thrown a whole lotta "urgent" and "must do right now" matters the past few months that I've come to neglect my filing and actual job.  Having to follow up on 1001 things every single day does take a toll on someone.  Although I do have a great supervisor who is always open for discussion, somehow I feel that using all this to justify my performance (or rather lack thereof) to be meer excuses so I refrained.  Even when I was busy taking care of my mum and having to deal with all the emotional roller coaster last year, I refused to make it as my excuse or justification.  As much as it may not "look good" to send emails in the wee hours of the morning (12am-4am), it is pretty much the best time for me to finish my tasks and get my work done.  I am and have always been a night owl, never a morning person, and am the most productive in the middle of the night.  Unfortunately, I can't even do that apparently.  Plus I realized that I feel less productive in my current office than the previous one and therefore I'm moving back there *YAY!!!!!!* soon.  Maybe I'll drop by the office later and get my office stuff.

OK so enough rambling about work.  I'm getting my office laptop replaced on tomorrow *hurray!!* to a faster Core 2 Duo unit with more RAM and hopefully HDD space.  Using a Pentium with a 512K RAM for work to me is just insulting since I love techie stuff.  I don't understand how a technology-related company can settle for such subpar devices.  My personal laptop is more powerful than that.  Insulting.  Another one of the things that I've been looking forward to since last year considering my laptop had been so super glitchy for way too long.  I need computers that work faster than me to optimize my resources.  *haha*  Finally had it reformatted earlier this year and it has been working somewhat better 1 in 50 chance of freezing up compared to 1 in 4 previously.

Anyways, I do have trouble sleeping at night and I find 3am or 4am a sutiable time to sleep which doesn't work well with working hours.  So needless to say I hardly get enough sleep.  And I work til late (sometimes I continue work at home) apart from all the other non-work related matters I have to look into - home, family, friends, personal time - and I'm still struggling with personal emotional issues and balancing everything out.  Then there's the ever demanding need and stress of losing weight.  Stressing definitely doesn't help with it.  The more I think about it, the more I get hungry and require food consumption.  There must be a different way to go about this.  And better yet a better way for me to fit in time to exercise and make it part of my routine.  Maybe I can workout during lunch hours.  Hurm...

Well, lunch is served so I think it best to go join the family now.  Wee!!!!

Monday, May 10, 2010

A Whole Lotta Weekend...

Hello rain that falls from the sky. It seems that you have returned during this cool monsoon season.

Yes, it has been raining practically every single day these days.  When the sun is out, the air is so humid and feels so scorching hot.  Then rain falls and it falls hard.  I love rain.  Believe me I do.  But it doesn't do much for me when I'm out trying to pursue a nice hobby/side project in the daytime at Jesselton Point.  With another 4 hours to go, we had to pack up and wrap up the day because it was raining cats and dogs (not literally) and there was no way we could woe in customers nor could we properly display our items.  The tents were flooded, and all of us grouped up smack in the centre of this 20x20ft tent salvaging our merchandise from getting even more wet.  And we were all hoping for better sales that usually come during the afternoon.

Anyways, I went to the PC Fair today at 1Borneo.  Nothing much that was enticing but I did get my brother's webcam (which we can't get to work and only displays a blank black screen), a USB vacuum and a keyboard and mouse for the home PC since it has been a bit glitchy lately.  I couldn't remember if we had it on a USB or PS/2 connection (how dumb!) and got the USB ones only to find out when I got home that it had PS/2 connections.  Looks like I'll be heading out to get a couple of USB to PS/2 converters.  Maybe I should've just gotten the Logitech one I had initially wanted.  Darn you salesgirl for making me doubt my confidence in having PS/2 keyboard and mouse.  *Ggrrrr*  And there wasn't anyone home for me to ask to check and confirm.

I have a personal target to complete at work this month.  And I'm determined to complete it.  I won't have much time next month finish the task and I'd really like it done by the 1st half of the year.  Wish me luck!

Sometimes I wish I had somewhere else to go home to.  Sometimes I get exhausted just trying to be chirpy ALL THE TIME.  I've always had my mum to balance out my days because whatever problems I face, whatever frustration I have, whatever pressure gets thrown my way, she always knew how to make me feel better.  Sometimes it's just being with her, hearing her voice and seeing her smile and the world becomes a better place and all those bad things just float away.  That was the magic of my mum.  Now I can't find my sunshine.  I can't find my pick me up.  Whenever something comes my way and brightens my day, another storm rains on my parade.  No one can hear my silent screams, my eyes fill with water, my feelings patched with fragile threads.  All they can see is my facade, the me they want to see, the me that is expected of me, the me I am assumed to be and don't even bother to look me in the eyes and see what lies there.

I've been undermined, pushed and shoved emotionally, I feel like I'm crumbling.  I'm always afraid of saying the wrong things at home.  I have to constantly be careful and not speak words that may or may not spark fires.  I have to check on my jokes or puns to make sure it doesn't get misinterpreted and misconstrued.  I'm wrong when I talk, I'm wrong when I'm silent.  Yes people.  My life is NOT perfect.  I'm just an average girl who summons all her energy each day to get through it and find happiness in the little things.  I go places and do things to take my mind away from the parts that sinks my soul until I get reacquainted with them in another bashing episode.  And yes, I get tired.  I think people forget that.  Some people anyway.  Sometimes I'm afraid to take a break.  I fear that things might get bad and I won't be around to tame it down.  Fear, it eats you bit by bit inside until there's none of you left but fear.

Enough of such somber rants.  My weekend was an underaccomplishment (is that even a word?).

Like I've said on my Facebook, Happy Mummy's Day to all.  And to my mummy, the beautiful woman who shines so bright that her absence has made my world so grim, I love and miss you every single day. Happy Mummy's Day mummy. Al-Fatihah.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Wilting Daisy

"Send me here,
Send me there,
Pick me up when I tell you,
No, it must be you!"

"Can I borrow your phone?
Can I sleep in your room?
Haven't you heard of sharing?
Something's wrong with you!"

"What's mine is mine,
What's yours is mine too.
Your time is mine,
Don't you dare make plans!"

"You must be stupid,
Why are you picking a fight?
That's just stupid,
Why can't you understand me?"

I can't run away
I have nowhere to go
Only one understood
But now I face it alone.

Whatever said, I must obey
Whenever called, I must come
However tired, I must attend
Don't get a life, just serve and serve.

My spirits dampen, I cannot soar
I live to be crushed and put down
Only good when I'm needed
Yelled at when I say "no".

I feel like pulling my hair out
I'm eating myself up inside
Words I speak bear no meaning
Heard only to be twisted and distorted.

Annoyed, frustrated, pushed to the edge
Still I cannot stand up and fight back
Fear of awakening yet another
One who cannot be controlled.

When I speak, I utter words
My advice only to be dismissed
Only to be used against me
In times to come.

I have no say
All I do is wrong
Why do I still live?
When my soul is clearly shattered.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Be Happy...

I've honestly never heard of this award so thanks to my cousin Cinda for tagging me.

Tagged by Cinda

10 Things That Make Me Happy:
  1. My mummy - in life and in death she made me truly happy. She was the only one who truly had my best interest at heart and truly understood all of me.
  2. Having a beautiful family - despite their weird way of showing appreciation and love (applicable to some)
  3. Having fantastic friends who look out for me and accept me for the person I am and not the person that other people want me to be.
  4. Knowing that I've been blessed with so many wonderful things and opportunities.
  5. Writing - a therapeutic stress reliever and means of expression (including blogging)
  6. Shopping - any form of shopping is invigorating and exciting to me (i.e. window shopping, online shopping, mall shopping, flea market shopping, catalog shopping, etc.). To not have a budget would also be a dream!!
  7. Technology - the latest innovative gadgets and devices in the market really gets me excited (includes anything from Apple, computers, cameras, softwares, applications, printers, super-fast internet, etc.)
  8. Beauty - I love to see beauty in everything and everyone. I love beauty products (i.e. skincare, cosmetics, fragrances) and enjoy playing (and amassing) with my makeup collection.
  9. Sewing - the idea of creating garments or bags and accessories just makes me happy and proud. I may not have the patience for it but the final product always sends a rush of excitement.
  10. Cupcakes - Haha. Yes. I don't know what it is but cupcakes just exudes happiness don't you think?
I Tag You

And since I've been really into YouTube lately,
I'd like to tag the gurus that has always brighten my days
with their videos and blog posts and tweets:
(although they prolly won't pass this on or respond)

If you've been tagged, all you've gotta do is:

  1. Copy the award/tag image above and post it on your blog.
  2. Name and link back to the person who sent you the award/tag.
  3. List the 10 things that makes you happy and brightens up your day.
  4. Send the award/tag 10 people who brightens up your day in random order.
Lotsa luv, let's spread the happiness. *smiles*

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Beautiful dreams...

Wow. Just realized that I was starting a post before I got cut off. Only managed to insert the title. LOL! Was wondering why one of the items under 'Edit Post' didn't have an option to view. Hehe.

Fortunately when I saw the post title I still remembered what the post was supposed to be about. I had a beautiful dream a couple nights back. I wish I could have a dream similar to that every night. My mummy was in my dream. It was so nice. I'm pretty 'conscious' when I'm in a dream and I have no need to pinch myself to check if I'm in a dream or in the real world. It was so nice to be with my mummy. To hear her voice, hear her laugh and talk to me, hold her hand and see her smile. At one point in the dream I'd even wanted to record her voice, our conversations so I can hear her voice anytime I wanted. Not that I could export those recordings - if made - out of my dreams. *haha*

It really was nice to be able to see her, and chat with her like we used to. Dreams, my brief moments of happiness.