this is personally my most fave songs of all time. it has such a powerful message and is simply inspirational. i first heard the song in the movie My Girl and instantly fell in love with it. then i heard the nat king cole (or was it louis armstrong?) version if i'm not mistaken. another powerful person singing an amazing song. the latest version out there is from the cast of my fave tv show, glee (i'm a sucker for musicals). although the lyrics are slightly different (i.e. 'pain' instead of 'fear'), i just love the rendition of the song. beautiful.
smile
though your heart is aching
smile
even though it's breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by
if you smile through your pain (fear) and sorrow
smile
and maybe tomorrow
you'll see the sun come shining through for you
light up your face with gladness
hide every trace of sadness
although a tear
may be ever so near
that's the time
we must keep on trying
smile
what's the use of crying
you'll see that life is still worthwhile
if you just smile...
the lyrics are incredibly simple and direct yet full of meaning and filled with emotions. depending on my mood and emotional level at the time, this song either makes me smile or cry (or both).
so smile... although a tear may be ever so near...
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
come shop with me...
without realizing it, it's been 3 weeks since my mummy has passed and although it feels weird that everything else remained unchanged and unaffected by what had happened, we still miss her immensely but life goes on. there are still many instances when i wanted to run to her and ask for her opinion and guidance and had to remind myself that i have to turn to other people now. i will always think of what she would say to me in different situations and keep that in mind.
anyways, i've recently unofficially launched my latest foray into the business world. something i can strike off my things i want to do list in the left sidebar *haha* and i already did. weee...
i'll be launching it officially soon and adding a lot more items for your to choose from. *smiles* i'm really happy i've finally been able to start this up. click on the blogshop logo above to enter the site. stay tuned for our official opening sales soon! my mum was excited about my latest venture too but wasn't able to see it take off. at least i know i had her support (as always). the boutique has a mixed selection of items from dresses to tops, skirts and leggings too. i'll be sourcing for some accessories to add to the mix as well and that is definitely expected in the coming months. my aim is to provided an opportunity to everyone regardless of shape and size to be part of the beautiful fashion scene. i believe that everyone is gorgeous and beautiful in their own right. i'm working hard to provide the best prices too so each piece is affordable and of good quality. items are accessorized in photos to illustrate some of the many potential looks that can be created with each piece.
did i mention i can ship internationally as well? *smiles*
if you like what you see, feel free to spread the word too. i'd love to hear your feedback as well.
anyways, i've recently unofficially launched my latest foray into the business world. something i can strike off my things i want to do list in the left sidebar *haha* and i already did. weee...
i'll be launching it officially soon and adding a lot more items for your to choose from. *smiles* i'm really happy i've finally been able to start this up. click on the blogshop logo above to enter the site. stay tuned for our official opening sales soon! my mum was excited about my latest venture too but wasn't able to see it take off. at least i know i had her support (as always). the boutique has a mixed selection of items from dresses to tops, skirts and leggings too. i'll be sourcing for some accessories to add to the mix as well and that is definitely expected in the coming months. my aim is to provided an opportunity to everyone regardless of shape and size to be part of the beautiful fashion scene. i believe that everyone is gorgeous and beautiful in their own right. i'm working hard to provide the best prices too so each piece is affordable and of good quality. items are accessorized in photos to illustrate some of the many potential looks that can be created with each piece.
did i mention i can ship internationally as well? *smiles*
if you like what you see, feel free to spread the word too. i'd love to hear your feedback as well.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
"hi mummy" no more...
as i've mentioned before in my previous posts, 2009 has been a very trying time for my family and i. on february 5, 2010 around 10.30-11.30am, my whole world was shaken. like any other morning, i wake up as usual, check my twitter and facebook on my iphone, wake myself up with a dose of internet on my laptop in bed until all of a sudden i hear a bit of a commotion outside my room. the help we'd hired to take care of my mummy during the day while everyone was out to school and work and the maid needs to get the housework done, was calling for the maid. in utter panic, the maid came rushing to my room alerting me to get ot my mummy pronto.
my mummy couldn't breathe. she'd developed some phlegm in her throat earlier that week out of the blue and hadn't been able to get rid of it since. we'd given her some medicine for it as prescribed by her doctor but i suppose it didn't help her. my heart had sunken as the tears came gushing out of my eyes begging my mummy to hold on while we try to clear her air passages so she could breathe. she saw me and shed her final drop of tear without being able to say a word. as i laid my palm upon her chest, i couldn't feel the rapid beating of heart anymore. her pulse had gone weak and was fading by the minute. her pupils weren't dilating or responding to light. i'd already called her doctor earlier.
when the ambulance came and took us to smc, i kept hoping that there was still hope for my mummy. deep down, i knew, her time had come. the paramedic pumped out the remaining phlegm from her throat and strapped the oxygen mask on her. when we got to smc, we sat outside the emergency room at level 1 while the doctor went in to check on the situation. with a grim face, her doctor came out, tapped bapa's shoulder signalling him to come over near the door and broke the news to him. my brother and i were sitting opposite where they were standing waiting to see bapa's reaction and what we saw confirmed what our guts had been telling us. mummy had gone.
my eyes flooded with tears, i hugged my brother so tight i was afraid he'd suffocate. fortunately my uncle was around to take charge and ring up the necessary people to make arrangements for the burial and kenduri. i started texting close friends and some relatives and called my uncle to make arrangements for the grave site. my vision was beginning to turn hazy, my legs were beginning to feel numb. soon i couldn't type on my qwerty keyboard, i had to ask my brother to type. not long after, my hands began to freeze up and my eyes shut, my breathing had gone haywire. my body practically went into shock mode. the nurses swiftly transferred me from my seat to a wheelchair then to a bed. before i knew it i had oxygen tubes inserted into my nostrils and the voice of the nurses trying to calm me down.
the first time i experienced this body reaction was the week before. when i was by mummy's side taking care of her and accompanying her. i hadn't slept the entire night and my mummy was speaking in sentences that didn't make sense, in a tone that was mostly mumbles. i'd felt so helpless and sad that i wasn't able to help her because i didn't know what she wanted. i started having difficulty breathing, my eyes shut with tears flowing, my limbs were numb and everyone else was asleep. my mummy couldn't help me and kept asking me what was wrong while gently stroking my knee. i know she wanted to calm me down but she wasn't in the proper condition to do so. fortunately my aunty who had come to stay with us for the week with my grandma had woken up for early morning prayers and heard coughing in the room. bapa, the maid and my aunty all tried to calm me down so i can breathe normally again. i ended up not speaking for the rest of the day until late that afternoon while getting my mum to drink some water and she told me to drink the water instead. then she asked me to sleep. even in sickness, she still wanted to take care of me.
it's been a little over a week now since that day and the relatives have returned home. my 2 youngest brothers are at my grandma's place for the chinese new year break and the maid is home for the weekend. i miss my mummy. i remember chinese new year last year we were all suppose to head back to my grandma's place but at the eleventh hour i couldn't join because i'd gotten a fever (which lasted the entire week they were there). my mummy kept asking me to come. catch a flight there and i can join them on the ride home. the plan was to stop by sandakan as well and eat at agnes keith house. she loved the scones at that place. she was still well then, save for some back aches. i can't regret not going because i was not in any shape to travel at the time. i wish i wasn't sick then.
when my mummy was diagnosed with lung cancer (her 2nd diagnosis. the first was breast cancer in november 2006) last april, we were all quite devastated. to have it recur in the same location and so soon was a shock to us. she was a fighter. and she fought the disease til the end. she held on to every last bit of energy in her body and soul to hang in there for the family. by august, her tumour had cleared and we felt thing looking up. we were filled with positive thoughts and big hopes that she will recover. with another 2 more additional chemo sessions to go, the battle was almost won. or so we thought. right before her second last chemo set, she was having difficulties walking. the task of moving around was excrutiating for her. after a couple of trips to smc, they finally found out the cause of the pain. there was an abcess in her muscle near her hip joints. she ended up with 4 surgeries (3 times for the hip joint area and 1 for the incision near her ankle -- there was puss collection near the ankle area) and 2 months hospitalized. it almost drove her nuts being in the ward for too long.
despite everything that she had to endure, she stayed strong and positive. we still talked and laughed. we joked around and she'd give me advice and share her opinions like we always do. when i was feeling down or stressed out, she cheered me up. when i was having problems, she helped and protected me. i always felt safe and happiest when i'm with her.
i'm not perfect but i did my best to spend as much time as i could with her, take care of her, accompanied her while at the same time juggling my office workloads (which were overwhelming at times) and keeping my brothers in check. some days, i'd sleep in smc with my makeup on and in my work clothes of that day. i avoided attending any trainings that required me to travel and stay overnight. i barely had time to do much else. fortunately my close knit friends are such dolls and understood what i had to do. i didn't get to go out and do all those things peeps my age usually do. i apologize to all my friends whose weddings last year i'd missed. and to nyn, i know i promised to be there for your engagement, but i'm truly sorry i couldn't make it.
my mummy couldn't breathe. she'd developed some phlegm in her throat earlier that week out of the blue and hadn't been able to get rid of it since. we'd given her some medicine for it as prescribed by her doctor but i suppose it didn't help her. my heart had sunken as the tears came gushing out of my eyes begging my mummy to hold on while we try to clear her air passages so she could breathe. she saw me and shed her final drop of tear without being able to say a word. as i laid my palm upon her chest, i couldn't feel the rapid beating of heart anymore. her pulse had gone weak and was fading by the minute. her pupils weren't dilating or responding to light. i'd already called her doctor earlier.
when the ambulance came and took us to smc, i kept hoping that there was still hope for my mummy. deep down, i knew, her time had come. the paramedic pumped out the remaining phlegm from her throat and strapped the oxygen mask on her. when we got to smc, we sat outside the emergency room at level 1 while the doctor went in to check on the situation. with a grim face, her doctor came out, tapped bapa's shoulder signalling him to come over near the door and broke the news to him. my brother and i were sitting opposite where they were standing waiting to see bapa's reaction and what we saw confirmed what our guts had been telling us. mummy had gone.
my eyes flooded with tears, i hugged my brother so tight i was afraid he'd suffocate. fortunately my uncle was around to take charge and ring up the necessary people to make arrangements for the burial and kenduri. i started texting close friends and some relatives and called my uncle to make arrangements for the grave site. my vision was beginning to turn hazy, my legs were beginning to feel numb. soon i couldn't type on my qwerty keyboard, i had to ask my brother to type. not long after, my hands began to freeze up and my eyes shut, my breathing had gone haywire. my body practically went into shock mode. the nurses swiftly transferred me from my seat to a wheelchair then to a bed. before i knew it i had oxygen tubes inserted into my nostrils and the voice of the nurses trying to calm me down.
the first time i experienced this body reaction was the week before. when i was by mummy's side taking care of her and accompanying her. i hadn't slept the entire night and my mummy was speaking in sentences that didn't make sense, in a tone that was mostly mumbles. i'd felt so helpless and sad that i wasn't able to help her because i didn't know what she wanted. i started having difficulty breathing, my eyes shut with tears flowing, my limbs were numb and everyone else was asleep. my mummy couldn't help me and kept asking me what was wrong while gently stroking my knee. i know she wanted to calm me down but she wasn't in the proper condition to do so. fortunately my aunty who had come to stay with us for the week with my grandma had woken up for early morning prayers and heard coughing in the room. bapa, the maid and my aunty all tried to calm me down so i can breathe normally again. i ended up not speaking for the rest of the day until late that afternoon while getting my mum to drink some water and she told me to drink the water instead. then she asked me to sleep. even in sickness, she still wanted to take care of me.
it's been a little over a week now since that day and the relatives have returned home. my 2 youngest brothers are at my grandma's place for the chinese new year break and the maid is home for the weekend. i miss my mummy. i remember chinese new year last year we were all suppose to head back to my grandma's place but at the eleventh hour i couldn't join because i'd gotten a fever (which lasted the entire week they were there). my mummy kept asking me to come. catch a flight there and i can join them on the ride home. the plan was to stop by sandakan as well and eat at agnes keith house. she loved the scones at that place. she was still well then, save for some back aches. i can't regret not going because i was not in any shape to travel at the time. i wish i wasn't sick then.
when my mummy was diagnosed with lung cancer (her 2nd diagnosis. the first was breast cancer in november 2006) last april, we were all quite devastated. to have it recur in the same location and so soon was a shock to us. she was a fighter. and she fought the disease til the end. she held on to every last bit of energy in her body and soul to hang in there for the family. by august, her tumour had cleared and we felt thing looking up. we were filled with positive thoughts and big hopes that she will recover. with another 2 more additional chemo sessions to go, the battle was almost won. or so we thought. right before her second last chemo set, she was having difficulties walking. the task of moving around was excrutiating for her. after a couple of trips to smc, they finally found out the cause of the pain. there was an abcess in her muscle near her hip joints. she ended up with 4 surgeries (3 times for the hip joint area and 1 for the incision near her ankle -- there was puss collection near the ankle area) and 2 months hospitalized. it almost drove her nuts being in the ward for too long.
despite everything that she had to endure, she stayed strong and positive. we still talked and laughed. we joked around and she'd give me advice and share her opinions like we always do. when i was feeling down or stressed out, she cheered me up. when i was having problems, she helped and protected me. i always felt safe and happiest when i'm with her.
i'm not perfect but i did my best to spend as much time as i could with her, take care of her, accompanied her while at the same time juggling my office workloads (which were overwhelming at times) and keeping my brothers in check. some days, i'd sleep in smc with my makeup on and in my work clothes of that day. i avoided attending any trainings that required me to travel and stay overnight. i barely had time to do much else. fortunately my close knit friends are such dolls and understood what i had to do. i didn't get to go out and do all those things peeps my age usually do. i apologize to all my friends whose weddings last year i'd missed. and to nyn, i know i promised to be there for your engagement, but i'm truly sorry i couldn't make it.
my mummy was truly a remarkable person. she was beautiful both on the inside and outside. everyone who knew her will tell you what a wonderful soul she was. she has touched so many with her kindness and attractive personality. i'm not saying this just because she was my mummy. i'm saying this because it's true. yes, she was strict. but her heart has always been in the right place and always full of love. her children were her life. her family always came first before anything else.
i feel (and i believe i speak for the rest of my family) that we are all incredibly lucky and blessed to have had her in our lives. she was generous, good hearted, loving, caring, wise, insightful, full of life, had an awesome sense of humour, practical, forgiving, hardworking, determined, strong-willed and always trendy and stylish.
as an only daughter, i was extremely close to her. i was her shadow, her driver, her runner, and anything else she wanted me to be. if i was away (or vice versa), we'd be on the phone everyday. when she was still working, we'd have lunch together and get a bit of shopping in after. whenever there was a sale, we'd be there. if she needed to go somewhere, i'd drive her. when we're at home, we'd hang out in her room watching astro and chit chatting.
i miss her calling me while i'm out or at work asking me where i am, what i'm doing, buy her things, come home early... i miss her texting me reminding me to pick up my brothers from school or pick something up for her... i miss texting and calling her when i'm waiting in the departure hall for my flight out and when i arrive at my destination airport... i miss talking to her in her room and listening to her advice and soothing words (she always knew what to say)... i miss being able to come to her for anything and being able to hug her... i miss saying "hi mummy" in the morning before i get ready for work and when i come home from work... i miss saying "goodnight (mum)my" before i go to my room at night... i miss her telling me not to worry, and telling me that everything is going to work out fine...
now i feel lost without her. i know that in time, i'll learn to work things out on my own. i know that we'll all be ok in the end. i believe that she wouldn't leave us without being sure we're gonna be aye ok. i know that eventhough we can't see her anymore, she will always be here to guide us in times in need. we've all done our best to help her recover and i believe that she was truly happy til the end and that it was her time to go. i will remember our last night together, joking and laughing the night away even though I didn't get a chance to speak to her that morning before she went.
thank you mummy for being such an amazing mummy to us. we miss you dearly and no one will ever be able to take your place. i will keep my word and honour your wishes. we may not remember all of you in time, but we will never forget you. we will treasure your time with us always. as much as this feels like a dream and we wish you were still with us, we will move forward and your spirit lives within us. i know you are proud of all of us.
i miss you and will always love you...
may your soul be placed amongst the righteous. i will continue to pray for you. al-fatihah.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
being bigger doesn't have to mean you're fashion deprived...
in recent years, i've gained a heck of a lot of excess baggage. as much as i want it all to go away pronto, it takes a lot of effort and plain hard work. i've been so busy looking into other matters i haven't been looking after myself. *a confession?*
the thing about being a bigger size is well, looking for nice clothes that fits. i decided not to bother much about not looking as slim as i'd like to be when wearing fashion because fact of the matter is i am not slim. my mum always told me i shouldn't wait to get to a certain ideal weight to dress up nice so i've finally come to my senses and took her advice.
like i mentioned in my previous post, it's just ridiculous that a lot of brands carry a whole bunch of smaller sizes (some not even having XL options). a lot of boutiques are also carrying clothes that fit at most a size m person. which is totally insane!!! what's even more annoying is the fact that bigger clothes costs an arm an a leg sometimes.
i got to a point that i was pretty depressed that i wasn't able to get clothes that fits me and play dress up. it's very discouraging when you go to a store or boutique and try on clothes in the largest size that they have and not fit. i hid behind oversized t-shirts and almost cried when i couldn't fit into my jeans. i didn't have a lot of jeans or pants and those were just a chore to find.
anyways, here are a few finds that are great options for girls/ladies/women on the plus side.
RETAIL/DEPARTMENTAL STORE BRANDS
Voir Exchange
Voir Exchange generally carries sizes from S to XXL. I love that the cutting of the clothes are of regular fit and aren't those slim cut kind. The colours are pretty neutral and extremely wearable. Think black, shades of grey, dark purples, dark green, khakis/beige and white. Don't worry, you'll be able to find bright colours as well such as yellow, orange and hot pink. :) Although the target buyers for this brand ranges between 30-50 years old, it's totally fine to wear even in your 20s. New Arrivals are usually priced at RM70+ to RM100+ but you can always wait for sales to get those prices slashed by 50% - 70%.
South China Sea
The brand is more of an East meets West range of clothing. You'll find gorgeous tunics/long tops and clothes with beautiful prints. I'm not quite sure what sizes it goes up to though but I believe it's up to size XXL as well. Again, prices may be of average range (circa RM70-RM150) but there's always those wonderful sales going on and you get discounts up to 70%. Since some Parkson stores sell this brand, expect additional discounts during the Bonuslink Members' Day Sales.
Applemints
Another brand under the Voir Group is Applemints. They carry tops up til size XL (fits a small XXL) and pants up to size 36. Nice trendy clothes with an affordable price tag and of course discounts up to 70% during sales. Also available at Parkson (read: Bonuslink Members' Day Sale *wink wink*).
F.O.S & Reject Shop
Don't forget to check out your local F.O.S. and Reject Shop outlets too. Sizes range from XXS to 5-6XL at bargain prices. Since they have a lot of imported brand names, you'll not only be gorgeous clothes, but you won't have to doubt the quality much either. Some articles of clothing do come with minor defects that are aptly labelled with red arrow stickers too. You'll find brands such as Old Navy, Massimo Dutti, CK, Forever 21 (US), Tommy Hilfiger, H&M and much much more. A lot of the items can be found marked down or on special promotions.
BLOGSHOPS
OMG! I absolutely heart this blogshop. I'm so glad I found it I just had to share it! She has some of the most gorgeous selections and the best prices out there. Sizes range from M to 6XL. Her shop is regularly updated with new stocks arriving almost every week. The seller herself is such a doll! Her blogshop is highly popular that a lot of her clothes gets sold out before the end of the day she posts them up. From time to time, she posts pre-loved clothes from her own closet for sale too. Nothing over RM50, bliss!
Another great blogshop is Plushionista. Selling both new and pre-loved clothes, it caters to a wide range of shape and sizes. They've been on hiatus for a bit but should be back soon. Next update is set to be on 25 January 2010. Can't wait!
Although I've never actually bought anything from this blogshop (because the items I wanted had already been sold. Haha), they've got some really nice clothes and a good pricetag to match. Sizes are from XL.
Another blogshop with nice fashionable clothes for us more-to-love girls. :) Prices are wallet friendly and she has a host of trendy clothes to choose from.
hope the brands and links above helped. *smiles* if you'd like to check out more blogshops for plus size customers, check out:
for reviews and fashion finds for the bigger people.
if you're willing to splurge a little more, check out these brands:
Ms.Read (sizes 12 to 22)
Ms.Read used to carry clothes that were not as trendy and suitable to more mature women. Lately, they've spiced up their wardrobe selection to offer clothes a bit more flare in line with their younger clientele. Prices are at RM100+ on average and goes up to about RM300+.
Dorothy Perkins
DP has a good selection of sizes and styles but they are a tad bit pricey. Nonetheless, it is a good option for us. :) I'd say go for dresses and good pants here. You can get knit tops that are of good quality and inexpensive elsewhere.
Marks & Spencers
I love the fact that M&S not only caters to a wide range of sizes, but they've also got them in short, regular and tall which is great! So if you're 5'-ish like me (i'm about 5' 1" - 5' 2"), get the short and no alterations required! Prices are about RM100+ but you can always look out for offers and sales.
unfortunately, our Forever21 doesn't have the Faith21 brand (not to mention no F21 malaysia website/store) with extended sizes up to 3XL. but you never know, they might just be on the way here at of course, marked up prices.
know of any other bigger/plus size brands/blogshops worth checking out?
Disclamer:
All logos are owned by the respective establishments/outlets and I am not affiliated nor directly related to any of the blogshops/outlets mentioned in this post. All text is my opinion and sole suggestion to readers from personal experience with the mentioned blogshops/outlets. Images used are for the sole purpose of representing the brands mentioned. This post was not sponsored or paid for.
Disclamer:
All logos are owned by the respective establishments/outlets and I am not affiliated nor directly related to any of the blogshops/outlets mentioned in this post. All text is my opinion and sole suggestion to readers from personal experience with the mentioned blogshops/outlets. Images used are for the sole purpose of representing the brands mentioned. This post was not sponsored or paid for.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
hoping 2010 will be a happier year... no resolutions....
okay so this is pretty long overdue considering the new year was ushered in almost 2 weeks ago. haha. sorry peeps.
anyways, for the most part, for my family and i, 2009 was prolly one of the worst years to date. april last year, my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. when she was diagnosed with stage 2/3 breast cancer back in 2006, it caught us by surprise and she spent the most part of 2007 undergoing chemo and radiotherapy after getting a mastectomy. 2008 was a beautiful year. it was a happy year for all of us. active travelling, shopping and a lot of fun overall. last year however, was difficult for all of us. in 2007, my mum only had to undergo outpatient chemo. her cycle was the regular 1 day outpatient chemo and a 2-3 weeks break. this time round it was a bit different. her chemo cycle consisted of 2 nights in-patient treatment (i.e. day 1 and day 2) and 1 half day treatment (day 8) followed by a 2 weeks break.
there were a lot more complications with her second diagnosis compared to the first time. the first time we only had to deal with the side effects of chemo and she could pretty much still care for herself fully. while undergoing radiotherapy, she began developing increasing pain in her right shoulder and arm causing her to clam up and had difficulty breathing. an x-ray scan showed there was a massive amount of fluid accumulating in her right lung which had to be tapped out for several days. before she left, her doctor recommended starting her 1st chemo cycle. although her tumour had cleared up by august last year (albeit not completely), after her 6th chemo cycle, she began having trouble walking and it was just excrutiating for her. a couple of admissions to the hospital later, we found out there was a boil under her muscles and an infection near the hip joint. seeing that she wasn't responding as quickly to the antibiotics, she had to undergo surgery. as if that wasn't bad enough, puss began collecting under her skin in the ankle region. another operation had to be done. last year, smc had become like a second home for me. sleeping on the couch is nowhere near comfortable but on the bright side, at least there was a couch to sleep on.
now my mum can't even lift her right hand up. it's as if there is no more strength left in her right arm. when she goes out, people ask if she had a stroke because her right arm could not be used. my mum is the strongest person i know and she is my rock. for me, it's very heartbreaking to see her suddenly having to depend on other people. she is a very independent woman. strong willed, wise and supports us in every way she can. when i look at her when she's in pain, i feel utterly helpless and useless. my mum is a jack of all trades so to speak. to me, she knew what to do in any given situation. i wish i am more like her skill-wise.
so yes. 2009 was a difficult year and my mum's battles are not yet over. we're all still helping her fight it.
then there's work in the office. a lot of high expectations are imposed when you work for a big company. and sometimes you can only multitask so much and still stay sane. tasks that used to be split between myself and my ex-colleague are now under my responsibility. in a field where everything needs to be done now, the demand for urgency is always there. i'm not saying i don't like my job. it has it's perks. *smiles* but there was just way too much for me to take in in such a short period of time and i was having problems juggling and balancing all that was happening in my life throughout the year.
during the influenza a scare, all of us went to get our flu jabs. luck would have it, one of my brothers had a seizure and collapsed bumping his head on the floor of the clinic soon after. we're not really sure what caused it or why it happened but it did. an mri of his brain showed he might have a lesion which was either a tumour or an infection. the doctor advised him not to drive for 3 months (but he only refrained himself for a month and is still driving now). more chores headed my way since there wasn't much alternatives as we were lacking manpower at home as well.
i felt sad that i was unable to attend a couple of my good friend's weddings last year as well. i mean, ideally you only marry once. i tried to find a way for me to attend but those that were too far had to be foregone. the saddest part was i missed my bestfriend's engagement. coincidently the maid had to go back and attend a wedding. my mum told me to go to the engagement but i couldn't leave her at home. i'd been looking forward to attend for weeks and no one had bothered to tell me i won't be able to go. of course she understood why i couldn't make it. *hugs* but nonetheless, i'd promised to be there.
why am i pouring my soul out in this post? i'm not really sure why but i just had to get it off my chest.
on a more cheerful note, last year brought me my beloved iphone. *beams* i know there is an iphone vs blackberry debate out there but personally, i think it's up to the person using the devices. the important thing is what do you need to use it for and which interface you prefer. the iphone has loads of wonderful apps and it suits me well. *smiles* the battery life sux big time though especially if you don't realize you've got push notifications on. haha. thinking of doing a best apps post next. hurm...
then there was my trove by elixelle project which was basically me clearing up my closet (which by the way has filled up again). it was a fun experience participating in bazaars and selling stuff. i met new people and gained some experience. i've managed to get rid of a good deal of my stuff and delighted a lot of people with the bargains (branded t-shirts at RM5 - *winks*). trove will still be around but there won't be as much stuff on it until my next batch of clearance. i pretty much sold off all the super good stuff. there are still a good amount left but i've decided to give them away and dedicate my time to other projects that's coming up this year. i can't wait to share it with everyone!! the first is coming up soon (i hope!).
i've gained a lot of weight the past few years. i feel the more i try to shrink, the more i expand if you know what i mean. haha. i'd lose 3kg and gain 6kg. my weight loss was going nowhere. i had high hopes by end of the year i'd be lighter than i was at the beginning of the year and set reasonable goals/targets but i instead became heavier. i'd put on 20kg in the past 3+ years and rising. if you've been skinny all your life, you'll never understand what i'm talking about. losing weight is even harder when you have to be careful not to trigger any gastric attacks and have hormone imbalances (hormones control your metabolism). coming from a family that loves food doesn't help either. haha. it doesn't help either when friends and family have nothing else to say then comment on how much weight i've gained and why i wasn't skinny. i get a lot of 'advice' to cut down on my rice intake. i prolly only eat a quarter to half a bowl of rice (i don't eat much rice) when other people are eating a whole bowl or more. i prefer fish and veggies to chicken or beef. although i must admit, i have insane cravings for fast food and soft drinks. even when i cut down on those foods i wasn't losing. it was very discouraging. yes, i did try exercising as much i could. i haven't gotten back in the rhythm of exercising since fasting month ended though. haha.
i think i'll do a post on good places to get clothes for bigger sized people here. it's quite unfair that most clothes in the market cater to smaller sizes. Some don't even carry XL sizes. How sad is that? What about people who are a size 3XL or UK18? Specialized plus size brands are generally a bit pricey. It's like it isn't bad enough it's hard to get sizes, it has to hurt the wallet too?!? so that's gonna be in my upcoming post.
then there's my reignited love for makeup (2008 reignited my love for sewing). i personally don't wear a lot of makeup ironically. haha. but i've loved makeup since i was a kid. i loved playing with my mum's makeup and was always excited to put makeup on myself and my friends if we had a performance on stage and what not. i loved the opportunity to doll up and just mess around with makeup. youtube has brought me closer to all things makeup. and from that love came blissful belle which is my beauty blog where i post my makeup experiments, reviews and hauls. i've linked it to my youtube channel *blush* where i play around with video recording and itty bitty editing. hehe. i've been building up my makeup collection and practicing my makeup application and trying out different looks and stuff. it's my escape and it helps keep me sane. i'm waiting for some new brush sets coming out this year to add to my growing collection. which reminds me, i'll post a review of my recent purchases on either blissful belle or my youtube channel (or both) along with my 2 cents. haha.
i've decided to not make any resolutions for 2010. i fail to see the point of making the same resolutions every year so i felt it best to not go through that madness again this year. i have personal goals but i don't have resolutions.
my latest fashion item obsession? haha. leggings and long cardigans with gorgeous heels. lol!! leggings are extremely comfortable because it follows the contour of your figure and is far more flexible than regular jeans and pants. given the right size, the waist doesn't bite into your flesh. haha. if you're a bigger size, long cardis are totally the way to go. it's a lot more flattering. don't get me wrong, it works well with people of smaller sizes as well. *smiles*
i think this is a pretty long post as it is. time to shut up and save more stuff for my next posts. haha!
anyways, for the most part, for my family and i, 2009 was prolly one of the worst years to date. april last year, my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. when she was diagnosed with stage 2/3 breast cancer back in 2006, it caught us by surprise and she spent the most part of 2007 undergoing chemo and radiotherapy after getting a mastectomy. 2008 was a beautiful year. it was a happy year for all of us. active travelling, shopping and a lot of fun overall. last year however, was difficult for all of us. in 2007, my mum only had to undergo outpatient chemo. her cycle was the regular 1 day outpatient chemo and a 2-3 weeks break. this time round it was a bit different. her chemo cycle consisted of 2 nights in-patient treatment (i.e. day 1 and day 2) and 1 half day treatment (day 8) followed by a 2 weeks break.
there were a lot more complications with her second diagnosis compared to the first time. the first time we only had to deal with the side effects of chemo and she could pretty much still care for herself fully. while undergoing radiotherapy, she began developing increasing pain in her right shoulder and arm causing her to clam up and had difficulty breathing. an x-ray scan showed there was a massive amount of fluid accumulating in her right lung which had to be tapped out for several days. before she left, her doctor recommended starting her 1st chemo cycle. although her tumour had cleared up by august last year (albeit not completely), after her 6th chemo cycle, she began having trouble walking and it was just excrutiating for her. a couple of admissions to the hospital later, we found out there was a boil under her muscles and an infection near the hip joint. seeing that she wasn't responding as quickly to the antibiotics, she had to undergo surgery. as if that wasn't bad enough, puss began collecting under her skin in the ankle region. another operation had to be done. last year, smc had become like a second home for me. sleeping on the couch is nowhere near comfortable but on the bright side, at least there was a couch to sleep on.
now my mum can't even lift her right hand up. it's as if there is no more strength left in her right arm. when she goes out, people ask if she had a stroke because her right arm could not be used. my mum is the strongest person i know and she is my rock. for me, it's very heartbreaking to see her suddenly having to depend on other people. she is a very independent woman. strong willed, wise and supports us in every way she can. when i look at her when she's in pain, i feel utterly helpless and useless. my mum is a jack of all trades so to speak. to me, she knew what to do in any given situation. i wish i am more like her skill-wise.
so yes. 2009 was a difficult year and my mum's battles are not yet over. we're all still helping her fight it.
then there's work in the office. a lot of high expectations are imposed when you work for a big company. and sometimes you can only multitask so much and still stay sane. tasks that used to be split between myself and my ex-colleague are now under my responsibility. in a field where everything needs to be done now, the demand for urgency is always there. i'm not saying i don't like my job. it has it's perks. *smiles* but there was just way too much for me to take in in such a short period of time and i was having problems juggling and balancing all that was happening in my life throughout the year.
during the influenza a scare, all of us went to get our flu jabs. luck would have it, one of my brothers had a seizure and collapsed bumping his head on the floor of the clinic soon after. we're not really sure what caused it or why it happened but it did. an mri of his brain showed he might have a lesion which was either a tumour or an infection. the doctor advised him not to drive for 3 months (but he only refrained himself for a month and is still driving now). more chores headed my way since there wasn't much alternatives as we were lacking manpower at home as well.
i felt sad that i was unable to attend a couple of my good friend's weddings last year as well. i mean, ideally you only marry once. i tried to find a way for me to attend but those that were too far had to be foregone. the saddest part was i missed my bestfriend's engagement. coincidently the maid had to go back and attend a wedding. my mum told me to go to the engagement but i couldn't leave her at home. i'd been looking forward to attend for weeks and no one had bothered to tell me i won't be able to go. of course she understood why i couldn't make it. *hugs* but nonetheless, i'd promised to be there.
why am i pouring my soul out in this post? i'm not really sure why but i just had to get it off my chest.
on a more cheerful note, last year brought me my beloved iphone. *beams* i know there is an iphone vs blackberry debate out there but personally, i think it's up to the person using the devices. the important thing is what do you need to use it for and which interface you prefer. the iphone has loads of wonderful apps and it suits me well. *smiles* the battery life sux big time though especially if you don't realize you've got push notifications on. haha. thinking of doing a best apps post next. hurm...
then there was my trove by elixelle project which was basically me clearing up my closet (which by the way has filled up again). it was a fun experience participating in bazaars and selling stuff. i met new people and gained some experience. i've managed to get rid of a good deal of my stuff and delighted a lot of people with the bargains (branded t-shirts at RM5 - *winks*). trove will still be around but there won't be as much stuff on it until my next batch of clearance. i pretty much sold off all the super good stuff. there are still a good amount left but i've decided to give them away and dedicate my time to other projects that's coming up this year. i can't wait to share it with everyone!! the first is coming up soon (i hope!).
i've gained a lot of weight the past few years. i feel the more i try to shrink, the more i expand if you know what i mean. haha. i'd lose 3kg and gain 6kg. my weight loss was going nowhere. i had high hopes by end of the year i'd be lighter than i was at the beginning of the year and set reasonable goals/targets but i instead became heavier. i'd put on 20kg in the past 3+ years and rising. if you've been skinny all your life, you'll never understand what i'm talking about. losing weight is even harder when you have to be careful not to trigger any gastric attacks and have hormone imbalances (hormones control your metabolism). coming from a family that loves food doesn't help either. haha. it doesn't help either when friends and family have nothing else to say then comment on how much weight i've gained and why i wasn't skinny. i get a lot of 'advice' to cut down on my rice intake. i prolly only eat a quarter to half a bowl of rice (i don't eat much rice) when other people are eating a whole bowl or more. i prefer fish and veggies to chicken or beef. although i must admit, i have insane cravings for fast food and soft drinks. even when i cut down on those foods i wasn't losing. it was very discouraging. yes, i did try exercising as much i could. i haven't gotten back in the rhythm of exercising since fasting month ended though. haha.
i think i'll do a post on good places to get clothes for bigger sized people here. it's quite unfair that most clothes in the market cater to smaller sizes. Some don't even carry XL sizes. How sad is that? What about people who are a size 3XL or UK18? Specialized plus size brands are generally a bit pricey. It's like it isn't bad enough it's hard to get sizes, it has to hurt the wallet too?!? so that's gonna be in my upcoming post.
then there's my reignited love for makeup (2008 reignited my love for sewing). i personally don't wear a lot of makeup ironically. haha. but i've loved makeup since i was a kid. i loved playing with my mum's makeup and was always excited to put makeup on myself and my friends if we had a performance on stage and what not. i loved the opportunity to doll up and just mess around with makeup. youtube has brought me closer to all things makeup. and from that love came blissful belle which is my beauty blog where i post my makeup experiments, reviews and hauls. i've linked it to my youtube channel *blush* where i play around with video recording and itty bitty editing. hehe. i've been building up my makeup collection and practicing my makeup application and trying out different looks and stuff. it's my escape and it helps keep me sane. i'm waiting for some new brush sets coming out this year to add to my growing collection. which reminds me, i'll post a review of my recent purchases on either blissful belle or my youtube channel (or both) along with my 2 cents. haha.
i've decided to not make any resolutions for 2010. i fail to see the point of making the same resolutions every year so i felt it best to not go through that madness again this year. i have personal goals but i don't have resolutions.
my latest fashion item obsession? haha. leggings and long cardigans with gorgeous heels. lol!! leggings are extremely comfortable because it follows the contour of your figure and is far more flexible than regular jeans and pants. given the right size, the waist doesn't bite into your flesh. haha. if you're a bigger size, long cardis are totally the way to go. it's a lot more flattering. don't get me wrong, it works well with people of smaller sizes as well. *smiles*
i think this is a pretty long post as it is. time to shut up and save more stuff for my next posts. haha!
Friday, December 4, 2009
New Moon presents... Jacob Black
New Moon Trailer #3 from clevvertv
Link to above trailer : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs79_5n848Q
It's officially been a week since watching New Moon. And yet the whole Team Edward vs Team Jacob hype has anything but died down. Honestly, despite my love for movies, only a handful tempts me to watch it again at the cinema. While the first movie from the Twilight Saga didn't have such effect on me, New Moon did. I left 1Borneo with a desire to go back and get me another ticket.
Twilight was more of a boy meets girl story. How they met, how they attracted each other and an introduction to the Cullen clan. Taking off of that platform, the second installment introduced audiences to Jacob Black and the Quileute tribe as well as the vampire "royalty/enforcers", the Volturi family.
In the first movie, I'd have to say I was a little confused at the Edward-Jacob relationship. Why they seemed to have a mutual dislike for one another. Having not read the book series, I just figured the tribe was guided by wolf spirits as is in certain Native American cultures. Guess I wasn't too far off the mark there. After all, vampires and werewolves are essentially cousins.
Jacob (Taylor Lautner) served as delicious eye candy on screen with his charming good looks and well toned body. I read that Taylor had to start working out right after shooting Twilight for that dramatic transformation. He bulked up but not too much. Just right. Hence the massive support for Team Jacob I believe. The rest of the wolfpack were almost equally drool-worthy as well. I feel I must add that the CGI for the wolves transformation and build was beautifully done. The wolves although incredibly huge were absolutely gorgeous. But then again, I could be biased, I love wolves.
Apart from the introductions, this time round, the story focuses on the relationship between Bella (Kirsten Stewart) and Edward (the love of her life) as well as Bella and Jacob (the dependable best friend). Maybe I was a tad bit nervous at the thought of reviewing the movie that the emotions from the early parts of the movie didn't quite grip me. However, after deeply immersing myself in the story, the dynamics of the emotions portrayed by the characters came through. In short, Bella was on an emotional roller coaster from start to end.
I actually feel sorry for Jacob in the movie because he keeps trying to win Bella's heart but she has practically given her soul to Edward (Robert Pattinson). The typical best friend in love dilemma. And I love that in the movie you do get to see how deep the connection between both Bella and Edward is and how much Edward means to Bella and vice versa. In a way it is reminiscent of the Shakespeare classic Romeo and Juliet which was ironically also featured briefly in the beginning of the movie.
I found the Volturi somewhat amusing despite their extremely brief appearance towards the end of the movie. I was looking forward to seeing Dakota Fanning's performance as Jane but it was rather disappointing as there isn't much of her to see. Maybe in the follow up? Aro (Michael Sheen) seemed oddly gleeful and fascinated at Bella's abilities which is unusual for humans. Despite yearning for a taste of Bella, he does find her to be a form of entertainment in a weird way. Thank you Alice (Ashley Greene) for saving the day.
There is one noticeable part that annoyed me in the movie. The camera angles in certain scenes. After Edward left, Bella sat by her window in a daze staring out as the months passed. The camera encircling her during that scene was just a bit much. We were barely a quarter way into the movie and I was already developing a headache from the camera going round and round for too long.
The script was pleasantly romantic, witty and nicely written. I love that a bit of humour was injected into the lines which made for a rather entertaining listen as well.
No guys, this movie isn't just about hot guys with their shirts off or pale romantic vampires. This time round the movie has a lot to do with heart, friendship, love and devotion. It is not an action/thriller/horror flick (read: 2012, Ninja Assassin) and would require tapping into the sentimental side you never knew you had.
At the end of the movie, the audience were left with a brilliant cliffhanger which resulted in a feeling of restlessness and anticipation for the third installment to the Saga, Eclipse, coming to cinemas next year.
I found the Volturi somewhat amusing despite their extremely brief appearance towards the end of the movie. I was looking forward to seeing Dakota Fanning's performance as Jane but it was rather disappointing as there isn't much of her to see. Maybe in the follow up? Aro (Michael Sheen) seemed oddly gleeful and fascinated at Bella's abilities which is unusual for humans. Despite yearning for a taste of Bella, he does find her to be a form of entertainment in a weird way. Thank you Alice (Ashley Greene) for saving the day.
There is one noticeable part that annoyed me in the movie. The camera angles in certain scenes. After Edward left, Bella sat by her window in a daze staring out as the months passed. The camera encircling her during that scene was just a bit much. We were barely a quarter way into the movie and I was already developing a headache from the camera going round and round for too long.
The script was pleasantly romantic, witty and nicely written. I love that a bit of humour was injected into the lines which made for a rather entertaining listen as well.
No guys, this movie isn't just about hot guys with their shirts off or pale romantic vampires. This time round the movie has a lot to do with heart, friendship, love and devotion. It is not an action/thriller/horror flick (read: 2012, Ninja Assassin) and would require tapping into the sentimental side you never knew you had.
At the end of the movie, the audience were left with a brilliant cliffhanger which resulted in a feeling of restlessness and anticipation for the third installment to the Saga, Eclipse, coming to cinemas next year.
Monday, November 23, 2009
new moon... here i come!!
it's been ages since i've stepped foot in the cinema for a good movie considering the circumstances that be. but... a little bird dropped a note in facebook and i tried my luck. today, i've just got a wonderful e-mail from miss bobidom informing me that i was one of the lucky winners to go see new moon this friday!!
*bursting with joy.. in silence* *grins*
*bursting with joy.. in silence* *grins*
NEW MOON HERE I COME!!
it's just perfect timing that they're showing the first from the saga -- twilight -- on astro which i had just watched *again* with my mum on star movies. now watching new moon would be a much more, erm, fluid experience. *smiles*
thanks to the body shop for the movie tickets!! weeee....
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