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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Another Weekend?

I've just realized that I've been doing a lot of weekend summary posts of late.  Probably cos I've been super busy on weekdays with work and other mundane home stuff that there's really nothing much to blog about.

Anyways, yesterday was my mum's 100 days day-versary kenduri and we had a little get together.  Kids running around the house and the kitchen busy since the night before.  Haha.  Honestly, I'm not a kitchen person so instead, I busied myself with clearing up the area as much I could considering most of the junk was my stuff.  Haha.  And I totally slept in last night which was pretty weird considering I hadn't slept in (til 2pm!) in awhile.  Don't want to make that a habit.

Well, I'm still adjusting myself to the corporate world and having my every move and work being scrutinized.  I find it suffocating and really disturbing really.  Personally, I just tend to not perform at my best and my brain shuts down to work when I get put under a microscope.  Imagine how germs feel.  I admit with all the workload and constant "urgent" things to tend to I've lost a lot of my efficiency making my performance less to be desired for which really stresses me out because I'm a demi-perfectionist and something like this is just unacceptable.  I've been thrown a whole lotta "urgent" and "must do right now" matters the past few months that I've come to neglect my filing and actual job.  Having to follow up on 1001 things every single day does take a toll on someone.  Although I do have a great supervisor who is always open for discussion, somehow I feel that using all this to justify my performance (or rather lack thereof) to be meer excuses so I refrained.  Even when I was busy taking care of my mum and having to deal with all the emotional roller coaster last year, I refused to make it as my excuse or justification.  As much as it may not "look good" to send emails in the wee hours of the morning (12am-4am), it is pretty much the best time for me to finish my tasks and get my work done.  I am and have always been a night owl, never a morning person, and am the most productive in the middle of the night.  Unfortunately, I can't even do that apparently.  Plus I realized that I feel less productive in my current office than the previous one and therefore I'm moving back there *YAY!!!!!!* soon.  Maybe I'll drop by the office later and get my office stuff.

OK so enough rambling about work.  I'm getting my office laptop replaced on tomorrow *hurray!!* to a faster Core 2 Duo unit with more RAM and hopefully HDD space.  Using a Pentium with a 512K RAM for work to me is just insulting since I love techie stuff.  I don't understand how a technology-related company can settle for such subpar devices.  My personal laptop is more powerful than that.  Insulting.  Another one of the things that I've been looking forward to since last year considering my laptop had been so super glitchy for way too long.  I need computers that work faster than me to optimize my resources.  *haha*  Finally had it reformatted earlier this year and it has been working somewhat better 1 in 50 chance of freezing up compared to 1 in 4 previously.

Anyways, I do have trouble sleeping at night and I find 3am or 4am a sutiable time to sleep which doesn't work well with working hours.  So needless to say I hardly get enough sleep.  And I work til late (sometimes I continue work at home) apart from all the other non-work related matters I have to look into - home, family, friends, personal time - and I'm still struggling with personal emotional issues and balancing everything out.  Then there's the ever demanding need and stress of losing weight.  Stressing definitely doesn't help with it.  The more I think about it, the more I get hungry and require food consumption.  There must be a different way to go about this.  And better yet a better way for me to fit in time to exercise and make it part of my routine.  Maybe I can workout during lunch hours.  Hurm...

Well, lunch is served so I think it best to go join the family now.  Wee!!!!

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